How lovely was that - Gemma! I had no idea it was your birthday - but He Did!! I pray that you have a wonderful year - lots of joyous, wonderful surprises - and that is in the fullest sense of those words - His fullness!
I am finally moving on to John! I am not doing Luke right now - John! This is the wonderful gospel that God used to draw me totally into relationship with him - and I love it! I was early 30s. Knew Jesus from childhood. But had long not had any intimacy with God. No reality of his presence. Felt unable to deny his reality at the same time as I could not claim to have relationship! Had he gone - was he really real? Was it all a childhood thing? Was I clinging to a myth?
Reveal yourself to me!
I read John! and Jesus absolutely met me in his Word! undeniably real and alive! So I am excited to get back into John.
I am also looking for healing! I realise that I am like lots of Christians - I find it easy to pray for others but hard to hang my own needs out there! So a back thing that started last March is now quite chronic and incapacitating! So silly! You would have prayed for me - so would others and I have probably removed opportunity for others faith to be increased by God showing his healing power in my life! But anyhow. I am learning! Silly self sufficiency. I see a neurosurgeon Monday. I asked people to pray the last 2 weeks. I have been so encouraged by the love that people have shown. The neurosurgeon appointment was also amazing - so quick - a cancellation! But then I say "Father - you can heal me - so why am I doing this?" Maybe the MRI needs to confirm the damage beforehand so that the Neuro can see a miracle?
Anyhow I was there at church today for me as well as others and I will be at Bill Johnson's meeting at Churchlands on Weds.
There is a lot coming up for me: My elderly cousin from Melbourne arriving to stay a week from the 17th April. My nephew and his wife and little girl arriving 23rd April. The whole tribe (20 of us) going across to Rottnest for a week from 27th April - 4 generations together - booked 12 months ago. My 97 year old Mum being with us through all of this - great excitement for her. So you can see that from a human point of view with how I am feeling - I am just saying: Impossible!
But - equally - I have not felt that I should cancel anything. God knows and I trust him. He can heal me in a moment!
I have given thanks for this back pain. I have learned so much about what it is like to have chronic pain, to be unable to live a normal life! I have a totally new view of others who I have been praying for who are in chronic pain. I give thanks also for the fact I am only learning this now - it is wonderful to live pain free for nearly 60 years! For those young women who I have been praying for, who have been restrained by pain as young Mums - I have a new heart and passion to persist in prayer for them!
Anyhow - I kept getting stuck in Matthew. There was a lot for me to need to pause over. Jesus is not easy to live with. He challenges lots. He is fearless and straightforward. There is no ducking of issues.
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Mmm April 5th! and that post reminds me of how sad and - yes desperate - I was about the pain!
The Good News is - Jesus does heal today! ..and by the time I got to the second appointment with the Neuro - armed with the MRI scan - I was healing so fast that he could see there was NO POINT in doing anything!
Rottnest with the family that I could not imagine going to - but did not cancel - was WONDERFUL!
I am thankful for everyone who prayed for me - and to Jesus - my healer in every sense!
We sometimes imagine how a thing 'should' happen - and may be question and wonder when we pray and nothing seems to happen in that moment. God is sovreign and does things as HE wills. Our job is to keep on trusting Him.
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